Yesterday I was stopped at a red light behind a rusty blue minivan. There was a blue crystal dolphin hanging from the van's rear view mirror. It seems that whenever anyone has something around their rear view mirror it's a little dolphin. Why a dolphin? Are these people part sea creature? Did they never outgrow the Flipper phase of eight year olds? I'll admit these dolphins are pretty when they catch the sun and shimmer pinpoints of light on the car's interior but really all this serves to do is create temporary blindness when it hits you in the eyes. At that point all I'm seeing are airbags and sirens from the sixteen car pileup caused by one glass dolphin swaying from a mirror. However, it does seem that some types of vehicles are more prone to hang dolphins than others. These cars often have some sort of 'proud parent of _______' or a 'i heart jesus/honk if you're happy' bumper sticker. Fine. Go crazy. But if you want to hang something less forest gump try an air freshener. They smell good, or at least they do if you don't get the vanilla passion fruit combo, but who would do that anyway...