I get a secret thrill from eating mints out of the 'not to share' side of the container. Instead of looking at what this says about my personality, let's take a look at what this says about our society as a whole. The fact that there are two spots from which to take a mint demonstrates our need for choices and the inability to just stick with the basics. Logically, a person only needs one spot from which to take a mint. Two spots create confusion and panic attacks when one considers that he or she may not be choosing a mint from the correct opening. Secondly, the fact that one spot is labeled 'to share' and the other 'not to share' represents the failing morals of our society. It creates inequality and narcissism. To decide whether one shares with another only serves to give power to that individual to rule over others in turn creating a monstrous ego unable to be contained in a teeny tiny mint tin. As you can see, the thrill I get from not sharing mints says nothing about myself and everything mints.

Yesterday I was stopped at a red light behind a rusty blue minivan. There was a blue crystal dolphin hanging from the van's rear view mirror. It seems that whenever anyone has something around their rear view mirror it's a little dolphin. Why a dolphin? Are these people part sea creature? Did they never outgrow the Flipper phase of eight year olds? I'll admit these dolphins are pretty when they catch the sun and shimmer pinpoints of light on the car's interior but really all this serves to do is create temporary blindness when it hits you in the eyes. At that point all I'm seeing are airbags and sirens from the sixteen car pileup caused by one glass dolphin swaying from a mirror. However, it does seem that some types of vehicles are more prone to hang dolphins than others. These cars often have some sort of 'proud parent of _______' or a 'i heart jesus/honk if you're happy' bumper sticker. Fine. Go crazy. But if you want to hang something less forest gump try an air freshener. They smell good, or at least they do if you don't get the vanilla passion fruit combo, but who would do that anyway...